): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
