sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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