Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just found puke in my bra..
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
