It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize