haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
