dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the day after is always just damage control
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
