note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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