so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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