I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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