Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
