we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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