Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
