When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
