Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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