i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
