that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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