I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
BRING THE BAGELS
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
