are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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