i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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