He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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