You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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