Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
