worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
