God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He's on the porch naked. Help.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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