ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
