And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I didn't notice because vodka
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
