There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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