Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize