So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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