i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
