Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
