I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
