nut hugger
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
