That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Randomize
