I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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