Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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