are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
