Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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