Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
