Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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