She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
