We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
