Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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