he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
