My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
