hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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