I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize