dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
