Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
