I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
