He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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