At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
