this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
