honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
