Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
