brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
