Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize