i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
