my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
