To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
