I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
