dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize