I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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