I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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