Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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