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I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
