That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
