Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
