3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
