So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
