All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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