I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
