p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i love accidental penises.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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