I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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