I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Say something about gay babies.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
