There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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