I'm eating all of the evidence.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize