Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
im about as happy as oj after his trial
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
