I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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