His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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