She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
