He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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